How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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