Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Randomize
