can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
