I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Randomize
