is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
