they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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