Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I look better un-naked...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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