Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
