I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
