he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
