I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
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