Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
