Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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