I understand Curling. That high.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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