so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
