I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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