He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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