found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
