Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
