If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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