I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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