dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
