Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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