ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
