VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
