if i can run in heels then i can drive
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
