Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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