covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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