I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
