Soap is not a condiment
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
