So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Randomize
