i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
