So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
