I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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