It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
