There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
In the future we'll all be gay
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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