You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
