just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
