hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i was born a porn star she said
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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