ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize
