Don't you send me to vm
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
