I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
only you would photoshop your dick
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
