You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
