She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
