Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
