Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
If that was your dad, he is hot
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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