i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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