what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
