What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
