It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
